Tuesday, February 7, 2023
Hawai'i Free Press

Current Articles | Archives

Monday, February 2, 2015
HB624: Parental Parity in Child Custody Cases
By Chris Lethem @ 11:14 PM :: 4940 Views :: Family, Judiciary

by Chris Lethem

This bill passed last year, but was vetoed by Gov. Abercrombie because of a defect in the language created by Senator Hee.

We need help getting it passed this year. Testimony will be heard on HB624 tomorrow morning at 8:30 am in room 326.

LINK: Text, Status, HB624 "Clarifies the factors under which the family awards custody and visitation of a minor child to ensure parental parity."

LINK: Submit Textimony

  *   *   *   *   *

TESTIMONY to COMMITTEE ON HUMAN SERVICES

February 3rd, 2015 in House conference room 329

Testimony of Chris Lethem in Strong Support of HB624

RELATING TO FAMILY COURT

Dear Committee Chair Representative Morikawa;

I am testifying in strong support of the original language found in HB624.

It is time that we move the family court away from the adversarial model and finally start respecting the unique and mutually important roles that both parents have in their children’s lives.

Parenting has been and will always be a time intensive activity.

More parenting is better than less parenting. (2 > 1)

2 parents parenting is consistently better than either 1 parent parenting. (2 > 1)

Once our court system adopts a paradigm that respects the unique and invaluable role that both parents play in their child’s development allows families to heal, we will all be the beneficiaries. This is a healthy and respectful approach to developing an optimal environment for our children and their well-being post-divorce.

When there is respect (`Ihi ) for the important yet unique roles that both parents and also the grandparents have in their children’s lives we soon realize that having a legal dispute isn’t just destructive it is serves no purpose other than to create more conflict, ill will and drains families of much needed assets that could otherwise be put use for the benefit of our children. (2 > 1)

When the focus is about having a successful post marriage (successful divorce) relationship that gives both parents adequate time to parent their children, there is much less post decree litigation and children do better in all risk areas along with substantial reductions in family violence. (2 > 1)

Children who have lived in shared residential parenting families say the inconvenience of living in two homes was worth it – primarily because they were able to maintain strong relationships with both parents. (2 > 1)

Parenting time is how we pass on our traditions, values and beliefs. It is how parents teach nurturing, pass on standards of excellence, the principle of self-reliance, the importance of respect and reconciliation. For parents to parent effectively they need adequate time to parent. (2 > 1)

When both parents have adequate time with their children, they are able to engage them in day to day activities, where effective parenting occurs. Thus, avoiding the “Disneyland dad” scenarios that often leave both parent and child frustrated. Equal time also gives both parents adequate time to pursue other beneficial endeavors and interests. (2 > 1)

Too often custody litigation is ego driven or is about getting retribution, getting free money or having the power and control. Parents are easily enflamed by attorneys seeking to play on their hostility or fears. When parents engage in litigation they will often invent ways to gain an advantage through allegations or taking statements or behaviors out of context in a battle of he said, she said scenarios. These behaviors and motivations are self-serving for attorneys and parents while doing nothing to serve the goals of having healthy outcomes for our children. (2 > 1)

It should be a time of healing (Ho Ľoponopono). When there is ongoing conflict over custody, it sets the tone of the relationship in a very negative atmosphere where there no longer exists any goodwill between the parents for the remaining years of the child’s minority. The loss of trust and goodwill makes working together for the common good of the children much more difficult or impossible. (2 > 1)

Consistency is an imperative related to emotion not to location. Children function best when there is emotional consistency and regularity in their schedules. Spending adequate time with both parents gives children that level of emotional balance and certainty. (2 > 1)

Why did we think that effectively removing a parent from a child’s life would give them an advantage? We know today that it doesn’t. In fact, we know that 38 percent of children raised in a single parent household will grow up to live in poverty. Much more likely to drop out of school, get involved in drugs, be a victim of a violent act or engage in violent behavior. Teenage girls are far more likely to become pregnant - only to create an even a greater reliance on social welfare and perpetuating poverty. (2 > 1)

In summary, it is time to put an end to the adversarial model of litigating over time allocation or child custody. We know that shared parenting is good for children and families. It is time that we have statutes that reflect our unique Hawaiian values and also better serves our children and families. Let’s have a legal structure that engenders mutual respect for both parents and assures our children they will be the beneficiaries of the love, respect and protection of both parents. Thank you for taking the time to read my testimony. (2 >1)

Sincerely,

Chris Lethem

Links

TEXT "follow HawaiiFreePress" to 40404

Register to Vote

2aHawaii

808 Silent Majority

ACA Signups Hawaii

Alliance Defending Freedom

Aloha Pregnancy Care Center

American Council of Trustees and Alumni

AntiPlanner

Antonio Gramsci Reading List

A Place for Women in Waipio

Astronomy Hawaii

Back da Blue Hawaii

Ballotpedia Hawaii

Better Hawaii

Broken Trust

Build More Hawaiian Homes Working Group

ChinaTownWatch.com

Christian Homeschoolers of Hawaii

Cliff Slater's Second Opinion

DVids Hawaii

FIRE

Fix Oahu!

Frontline: The Fixers

Genetic Literacy Project

Grassroot Institute

Habele.org

Hawaii Aquarium Fish Report

Hawaii Aviation Preservation Society

Hawaii Catholic TV

Hawaii Christian Coalition

Hawaii Cigar Association

Hawaii Coalition Against Legalized Gambling

Hawaii ConCon Info

Hawaii Credit Union Watch

Hawaii Crop Improvement Association

Hawaii Debt Clock

Hawaii Defense Foundation

Hawaii Family Forum

Hawaii Farmers and Ranchers United

Hawaii Farmer's Daughter

Hawaii Federalist Society

Hawaii Federation of Republican Women

Hawaii Future Project

Hawaii Gathering of Eagles

Hawaii History Blog

Hawaii Homeschool Association

Hawaii Jihadi Trial

Hawaii Legal News

Hawaii Legal Short-Term Rental Alliance

Hawaii Matters

Hawaii's Partnership for Appropriate & Compassionate Care

Hawaii Public Charter School Network

Hawaii Rifle Association

Hawaii Shippers Council

Hawaii Smokers Alliance

Hawaii State Data Lab

Hawaii Together

HIEC.Coop

HiFiCo

Hiram Fong Papers

Homeschool Legal Defense Hawaii

Honolulu Navy League

Honolulu Traffic

House Minority Blog

Imua TMT

Inouye-Kwock, NYT 1992

Inside the Nature Conservancy

Inverse Condemnation

Investigative Project on Terrorism

July 4 in Hawaii

Kakaako Cares

Keep Hawaii's Heroes

Land and Power in Hawaii

Legislative Committee Analysis Tool

Lessons in Firearm Education

Lingle Years

Malulani Foundation

Managed Care Matters -- Hawaii

Malama Pregnancy Center of Maui

MentalIllnessPolicy.org

Military Home Educators' Network Oahu

Missile Defense Advocacy

MIS Veterans Hawaii

NAMI Hawaii

Natatorium.org

National Christian Foundation Hawaii

National Parents Org Hawaii

NFIB Hawaii News

No GMO Means No Aloha

Not Dead Yet, Hawaii

NRA-ILA Hawaii

Oahu Alternative Transport

Obookiah

OHA Lies

Opt Out Today

OurFutureHawaii.com

Patients Rights Council Hawaii

PEACE Hawaii

People vs Machine

Pritchett Cartoons

Pro-GMO Hawaii

P.U.E.O.

RailRipoff.com

Rental by Owner Awareness Assn

ReRoute the Rail

Research Institute for Hawaii USA

Rick Hamada Show

RJ Rummel

Robotics Organizing Committee

Save Dillingham Airfield

School Choice in Hawaii

SenatorFong.com

Sink the Jones Act

Statehood for Guam

Talking Tax

Tax Foundation of Hawaii

The Real Hanabusa

Time Out Honolulu

Trustee Akina KWO Columns

UCC Truths

US Tax Foundation Hawaii Info

VAREP Honolulu

Waagey.org

West Maui Taxpayers Association

What Natalie Thinks

Whole Life Hawaii

Yes2TMT